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Help! I’m Stuck in the Bathroom and I Can’t Get Out!
Finally...a house with my very own bathroom.
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Only You Can Prevent Firework Fires
Other than a few people, most of my coworkers know very little about me. I like to keep my personal life separate from my work life. I wish work would show me the same respect and only send me...
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Welcome to the Gun Show
Recently, I’ve been pondering something, and I’ve come up with two hypotheses: Sexual harassment has scared people so much they’re afraid to compliment a woman’s eyes, hair, etc. I have the arms of a...
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Take That, Lady-Who-Called-Me-the-Town-Whore!
One day you're the townwhore, and the next day you won't even show an ankle.
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5 Days Post Halloween and Only 387 Pieces of Candy Left
Kiefer and I always take a “cut” of Boo’s and Radley’s candy on Halloween night. Because I feel guilty, my cut is about 5 pieces from each boy, and it’s dark chocolate or candy that they don’t like....
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Hello, IT Help Desk? My Computer Is About to Explode
If you've never had to call a Help Desk, this is summary of how that goes....
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Santa Put Me on the Nice List This Year
I just wanted to show off a few of my favorite Christmas gifts. Exhibit A: Giant Candy Bar* *I don’t have a picture of this. Maybe it’s because I keep forgetting to take one and I don’t want to wait...
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Don’t Upset the Snow Pajama God
Let me be an example to the rest of you. This is what happens when you anger the snow god.
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My New Car Is Every 16-Year-Old Boy’s Dream
I got a new car, and it's a chick/boy magnet. I'll be knocked up in no time. Oh...wait....
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Applying Lyrics From the 90s to My Life: I Saw the Sign
Please excuse me while I get super duper corny.
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